New Blog!

Betsy Singleton-Snyder is now posting on the Stepping on Cheerios blog on littlerockmamas.com! Please visit her there.

Aubrey, Wyatt and Sullivan, children of Victor Snyder and Rev. Betsy Singleton.

Welcome, Triplets!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

December 09, 2008

SNYDER BABY BOYS BORN TODAY

Little Rock, AR – Congressman Vic Snyder and Reverend Betsy Singleton Snyder along with their 2 year old son Penn are delighted to welcome the arrival of three baby boys, Aubrey, Wyatt, and Sullivan. The babies' weights are 3 pounds, 15 ounces; 4 pounds, 10 ounces; and 4 pounds, 15 ounces. The boys were delivered this morning by Caesarian section. It is anticipated they will do some feeding and growing in the hospital for approximately three weeks before going home.

Shades of Gray

As our nation approaches a presidential election, our worship team considered a variety of topics we might explore for a September sermon series in '08.  

When I turn on the news in the evening, whether it is CNN or MSNBC or Fox, or another media outlet, almost always I find the discussion and opinions on "both" sides of the issues, be it immigration, health care, drilling for oil or almost any other controversial topic, unhelpful.  Almost all the "talking heads" providing their limited expertise make the issues seem one way or another, black or white.  In fact, in this election, the discussion is often literally about black and white, young or old, evangelical or atheist, citizen or immigrant.

That's why our worship team chose to build a series of sermons and worship experiences around "Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White: Thoughts on Religion, Morality and Politics" by Rev. Adam Hamilton, the pastor of Church of the Resurrection in Kansas.   

In the book, Hamilton suggests that the culture and political wars haven't yet found a middle way.  As the book jacket notes:  He believes that thinking persons of faith can model for the rest of the country a richer, more thoughtful conversation on the political, moral and religious issues that divide us.  Hamilton rejects the easy assumptions  and sloppy analysis of black and white thinking, seeking instead the truth that resides on all sides of the issues and offering a faithful and compassionate way forward.

A few weeks ago, a man who identified himself as conservative theologically and politically visited our church.  After the visit he contacted me to ask a few more questions about our church.  Even though he believed himself to be more conservative in his beliefs and style of worship than our congregation, he was very impressed with the warmth those around him expressed, the friendliness, and the obviously long list of outreach projects into the community. He told me he felt that people at QQUMC are passionate about reaching people who don't know Christ.  

As we talked I told him that I also believed members of our congregation try very hard not to divide people by labeling them according to what they believe.  There are people in our congregation who are left of me and to the right of me.  There is no way there cannot be theological diversity in a congregation where many of its members come from traditions that are not United Methodist.  Many of our new members in this growing congregation come from a wide variety of theological backgrounds (from Unitarian to Church of Christ), and I hope we help facilitate their journey of spiritual growth and maturity.

That spiritual growth and maturity, I'd like to think, is partly about learning to "see the gray" in the world.   When I was growing up, friends in more conservative church traditions would tell me to share with them what I believed in one or two sentences.   That was difficult.  The United Methodist Church has an entire book, "The Book of Resolutions" that is added to and changed every four years at our global General Conference.  These resolutions state what the church believes about issues and concerns taking place in the world.  They are especially important because they are based, best we can, on a biblical foundation, but they address contemporary issues the Bible does not always address.  Thus, for United Methodists, it is hard to say in a sentence or two what we believe.  We have lots of beliefs that are not easily categorized in a black and white world.

I hope you'll join us for all the Sundays in September (or virtually!) and bring a friend as we discuss what it really means to be liberal or conservative, what is spiritual maturity and the ability to see gray, how should one's faith come into play when approaching a presidential election, what is a worthy vision for America, and what is the radical center?

Most of you know, I'm pregnant with triplets.  So far, all is well.  Thank you for your prayers for our health.  Pray also that the world in which we live, so polarized by black and white opinion, become a place where Christians, especially progressive Christians and conservative Christians, can listen to one another, where progressive Americans and conservative Americans can hear the truth in what each is saying.  

And I hope my friend who identifies himself as conservative will always feel welcome in a church that is known for welcoming everyone, just as Jesus instructed us to do (Matthew 13:44-47).  God may do the sorting, but that is not our task as the church.  Our task is to open the door wide!  That's the kind of church and world I want for all my children and all God's children.

Peace,

Rev. Betsy

Praying in Public

It's coming up on two months since I blogged, a rather embarrassing record, but I have several excellent excuses.  The last blog was posted the day before we went on a family vacation and just a week and a half before we learned that I was pregnant.  

Indeed, the family trip to Oregon was difficult for me because the nausea started as we landed in Denver on the first leg of our journey.  It was much more intense than my first pregnancy and began much sooner.  The reason:  we suspected I might be carrying twins.  The hormone levels for the pregnancy test were very high.  However, this fact would not be confirmed until we had the first ultrasound the day after we returned from our trip.   And the first ultrasound did confirm we had two sacs and two heartbeats.

Yet it was too early to share this information with our church family and friends.  It was also too early for me to blog about it.  But since it was almost all I could think about I began to put my own thoughts and feelings in a journal.   Two weeks passed.  The next ultrasound would show us, we hoped, two healthy babies, and we would be released from the fertility doctor to our regular OB.  

We had a long wait for the second ultrasound.  It was a busy morning at the clinic.  We wondered if both little guys would be doing okay, would have heartbeats.  Having been through this before, we know it's not a given.  The encouraging part was the continued nausea--another reason I wasn't so keen on blogging or much of anything extra--and I seemed larger already, much sooner.  I was also eating like a horse to keep the nausea at bay and simply felt a deep craving for food.  

My husband stood behind me while the ultrasound began.  He commented that he saw something else.  With his medical background, he knows more about ultrasounds than the average expectant father.  The doctor then said something to the effect of, "Yes, it appears there is a third one."  I said, "A third what?"  After a few moments, the doctor leaned over my drape, took my hand, and said, "You are going to have triplets."

Never, never in my life have I been more stunned or shocked.  Suddenly everything that seemed manageable before, including twins, got wildly out of control.  Our car was too little.  Our house seemed to small.  The pregnancy seemed much harder and scarier.   And how we would juggle it all?

After we had another ultrasound that showed healthy heartbeats and shared we were pregnant publicly, we began to feel more support.  Indeed, my husband encouraged me to go ahead and share the news earlier than I would have since I was feeling overwhelmed.   

At the end of that week, my husband and I were eating at a local restaurant.  A large family came in and sat at the table behind our booth.  Our son was asleep in his stroller, and we were visiting about life with triplets.  At one point, we began to visit with the family.  They were laughingly apologetic for their long table set-up, a result of so many children.  Two grown sisters have six and four children respectively.  One sister is married to an OB who was also sitting at the same table.  The other sister works in his clinic.  We said we needed to learn as much about large families as possible because we were about to have triplets.  This big family was overjoyed to hear such news.

After a few minutes, the sister who is a nurse and works with her brother-in-law came over to our table and said something like, "Would you mind if I prayed for you?  I feel the Lord's laid this on my heart, and I want to lift you up."   Did we mind?  Absolutely not!  I did appreciate that she asked us and that should be common prayer etiquette.  

Then this nurse, this mother, this sister, wife and Christian took our hands, and we bowed in prayer.  It was full of encouragement and support for us, our family, and our babies.  I began to cry.  It was such a relief to have someone pray for us.

I find that many United Methodists are uncomfortable with such public prayer, either because they are shy or feel incompetent or because they are concerned  others will think they are zealots of the worst kind, exclusive Christians.   I think there is one more reason:  we don't do it enough to feel that we are truly connected to God, and so it feels uncomfortable or artificial.

But it doesn't have to be that way.  When the Spirit moves, don't be afraid or reluctant to consider offering a prayer for someone you know to be in need.  Prayer should be an integral part of our relationship with God and one another.  It is our conversation with God in private and as a community of Christians.  Prayer for others in need--either done quietly by a hospital bed or at a crowded restaurant--is important ministry.  Sometimes it's the best ministry of all.

Peace,

Rev. Betsy

Dinosaurs in the Nursery

Our church has a team heavily involved in a church revitalization program called, "Connected in Christ."  I have talked about the ministry enough that it may be familiar to some of you who read this post, but if not, let me briefly explain.

Connected in Christ provides the space, tools, and mentoring to help churches grow spiritually--with depth and in numbers.   It asks churches to look at themselves honestly, decide who God is calling them to be, and then fearlessly tackle the obstacles holding them back, be it a lack of hospitality, clarity of mission, poor worship, self-centeredness, and other distortions of authentic church.

During a recent brain-storming session of our CIC team leaders, a new member of our church, John Owens, made an interesting observation.  We were discussing the characteristics of QQUMC that set us apart from other churches. What makes us unique, and thus attractive to those beyond our walls?  

One characteristic we all agreed on was the intellectual curiosity of our guests and members. We said things like, Our church is a thinking church.   We take the Bible seriously, but not literally.  Quapaw Quarter has an intellectual openness.  We do not see the world in extremes of black and white, but rather gray.  It is good to ask questions, for in questions, one finds a sense of humility: we do not have all the answers.  

John, who recently volunteered to help out once-a-month in our nursery, commented that he'd never seen dinosaur toys in a church nursery.   We all stopped a moment, then laughed!  What John was suggesting is that our church members must believe in evolution and not see it in contradiction to the biblical witness or the power of truth in the Genesis creation narrative, the truth of who we humans are created to be.  Most of us seem to assume that faith and science can walk hand-in-hand.  This perspective means there is a place between secularism and fundamentalism.   To put it another way, we can embrace the languages of science and culture without giving in to secularism (see "Christianity for the Rest of Us," by Diana Butler Bass).

My little boy loves extinct dinosaurs and his church family.  He has books about dinosaurs, and he has books about baby Jesus.   He has dinosaur toys, and he has Noah's ark.   Two of his first words were:  "Jesus" (it sounded like "shee-us"), and "amen" (it sounded like Ahhhh-men). I didn't even know he could say "amen," but he blurted it out one day in church sitting next to his Aunt Gayle after the Lord's Prayer.  

I'd like to hear your thoughts about being a church that is unafraid to think.

Peace,

Rev. Betsy

What the Church Is Good For

This past week, we lost a church member. Martha Johnson's husband Paul died a week ago yesterday. Paul was not active, directly. He liked to say he was getting in heaven on Martha's coat tails. As many of our members know, Martha is our food pantry manager. She's got some great coat tails. You see, Martha makes possible the incredible management of resources to feed thousands of hungry people each year. While Martha was doing that kind of servant work, Paul was doing stuff like going to Kroger for her, and buying tasty treats for those volunteers who eat lunch on pantry days. In other words, we had Communion before and during pantry hours!

We had a great Memorial service for Paul last Friday. That means we didn't do dirge songs, or paint Paul as some kind of saint or sinner. We simply celebrated his life in song, in pictures, in personal stories, and shared how much his family loved him, how much his friends thought of him, how unique he was, and how much God loves him. Along with the service, so many of our folks reached out to Martha and the family. Since then, she has told me several times how uplifting the service was and how she felt cared for. We have both wondered at what people do who do not have a church home during such times of loss and grief.

While I was at Subiaco a few weeks ago, I read a book titled, "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller, a thirty-something guy who doesn't always like the church, but who loves Jesus. In his book, subtitled, "Non-Religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality," Miller helped me see how it is that so many people can't stand the church. They think all Christians are judgmental. They think Christians don't care about the environment or the poor or social justice. They think most Christians are more interested in converting them than conversing with them. They think Christians are only aligned with one political party. They think Christians are not interested in science. They think Christians are not interested in thinking. They think Christians are only interested in erecting big buildings and serving themselves.

I can understand why those Miller writes about are sick of Christians, but I also know there are other options out there. Our church is one of those options, and some people drive a long way to participate in a church passionate about community activism and outreach, inclusiveness, intellectual curiosity, and love of neighbor, especially the least. These are people who don't necessarily like the church, but they do like Jesus because they have come to understand he cares about the poor, the environment, justice, compassion and the least.

We also comfort those who mourn. Jesus had close friends who experienced death, and since Jesus is in the life business, he continues to offer hope and new life. A lot of times that care still comes through the church, as it did last week when we mourned Paul, and yet gave him back to God. And as we did, we held Martha's hand, and we will continue to do so.

Even though we all have friends out there who don't much like "The Church" and can't blame them, the reality is that Jesus' Spirit works through this imperfect Body, if we let him. Think about the friends or relatives or acquaintances in your life who need love, hope, and to serve something greater than themselves. If they aren't in a church, invite them to ours. Please introduce them to our Jesus--the one we know and love. It's probably the one they haven't heard about yet. The one Donald Miller writes about. (For more about Miller's unconventional, growing church, go to imagodeicommunity.com.) Tell me what you think we need to do at QQUMC to make it more welcoming for those who don't like "The Church," but would really like Jesus.

Peace,

Rev. Betsy